Gate-keeper-girl's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Pico Epsilon]

Very good, but a couple of critigues.

Please. Please. Please.

Practice faces and hands.
I tried watching this for the animation, which was decent, at best, but the drawing style really got to me. If you're going for Americanized anime, try and practice a little more with each style before trying to merge them. It doesn't look like youve gotten a hole over it yet.

There were also multiple tween shortcuts, which looked absolutely lazy and MAYBE something that could be washed over a year or two ago. My standards, however, are high.

Pretty good, and impressive for such a big project, but I sitll can't give it full marks. There were too many things that bugged me about it.

-GKG

BiffTheTimid responds:

The art isn't entirely consistent because I had less than a month from start to finish to animate. So yeah, there's going to be some tween "shortcuts" here and there. It's not supposed to be the pinnacle of animation, but just a fun tribute to Pico. I wasn't going for any particular "style", but it's obviously anime influenced. As for faces and hands, I'm practicing them every day. Thanks for the well thought out review.

[Brawl Funnies [Dick 1]]

I'll put this blatantly out there for everyone.

Consider to yourself, WHY you hate this. You may have perfectly justifiable reasons for not liking this animation; such as

"I didn't like the production quality overall"
or
"I don't know about the brawl taunts series, so the jokes made little to no sense"

But for the rest of you fan-tards of the brawl taunts 'trilogy', I have a few strong words for you.

First off:

You have no justifiable reason to enjoy brawl taunts. Each one of those animations is a piece of shit that never deserved the popularity they got.
Flashes like that get the front page, and weekly/ monthly awards rather than some more deserving flashes.

It's gotten depressing, watching the steady downwards spiral of Newgrounds over the past year or two, when it really started getting out of hand.

So let me ask you this:

If you are complacent with the material and quality of brawl taunts.
If you are able to laugh at the incessant homosexual, and crude sex jokes, then why aren't you able to handle satirical humor?
Must fly right over your heads.

OR perhaps, you feel insulted at your precious shit-flashes being bashed that you have no other recourse than to take out your anger on this collab?

Now for my personal review.

There's quite a few times I have sat in my chair, astounded at the sheer amount of idiocy that infests newgrounds as a whole. And it's heartwarming to see a group such as the backalley's stand up to the crap in the portal.
While there were some with less creativity and script writing than others, the standard was far beyond what I expected.

Overall, this was a brilliant collab, and part two is an excellent continuation of this.

-GKG

(You fanboys are honestly gonna have to deal.)

[One More Brawl Taunts]

Listen. Please. For the love of god.

Brawl taunts stopped being funny when it was first thought up.
There's no point to it anymore.

Giving this series out as a collab was an interesting idea; which failed. You obviously have no sense of quality control, and gave into the shit-for-talent audience your flashes attract.
That just shows your fan-base I guess.

None of these jokes were remotely amusing, and it pains me to know this is probably going on the front page thanks to >9000 14 year old boys who still view these things.

Now for a note to the artists.

Its great to be a fan of something. Its great to support something; but honestly. Look at yourselves. Look at what you've made. This isn't even worth my time, but I watched it the whole way, HOPING beyond all hopes that one artist would shine.

One or two exceeded the rest of you in quality, and gave my nose a rest from all the un-amused facepalming.

So what if you don't like my review. It's the truth, and at one point or another, you're going to have to face that. Artists, one more note;
If you want your skills to grow. Challenge yourself. This showed next-to-no motivation in either quality or production. It all boiled down to a badly drawn slideshow half the time, all the while being backed up by lame joke after lame joke.

Let's be clear.

Gay jokes are not funny, 4chan memes (badly placed) are not funny, crude sex jokes are not funny.

Rina, honestly, you need to draw the line somewhere.

For the love of the general population. Stop.

-GKG

[Mad Mad Mario]

The only stars you get are because I pity you.

Seriously,even drunk people can be funny. This isn't funny at all.

This kind of joke has been done so many times, and by so many different people. Some good, some bad. But this one left a bad taste in my mouth.
Bowser looks downright retarded, and his voice is OBVIOUSLY pitched down, making for a cheap sounding recording.

Mario with a really gruff angry voice =/ = Originality.

If you're going to break into this already bewilderingly overused genre, you should think before submitting. Maybe, just MAYBE someone would make a Mario flash that isn't complete SHIT.

The animation is wretched. Like you weren't even going to give enough of a shit to give the characters more than one dimension. Tweens only get you so far.

The background is like a handicapped child's scribble, colored in with photoshop.
Honestly man. I like your RENGADE AWESOME flashes. What the hell happened!?

Your attitude to reviewers is also piss-poor. Just because someone hasn't animated something, doesn't mean that their opinion , if expressed well, doesn't matter. You seriously are full of yourself, aren't you? Just because you've gotten on the front page?
Fuck off.

This 'animation' doesn't deserve any credit for graphics, voice acting, action, plot, animation, originality or 'gag' appeal.

[ParodyRangersTheMovie P.2]

I tried, I really. Really tried.

But there was no way to watch this whole thing.
The jokes were extremely dull, the voices were quite shitty at points (I could barely understand what they were saying) , and the animation was quite lack-luster.

Props for making such a long flash. But it was really a let-down from the last one which managed to keep my attention for long enough to get some entertainment out of it.
This one was so badly put together in terms of punchlines and character dialogue, that it made practically no sense.
Anyway.

Please learn how to draw hands.

-GKG

[the n00b collab II]

Bastard

You used my texture.
This was on purpose >:C

Interesting collab.
Very... interesting...

Rudy responds:

What do you mean your texture?

[Narwhals]

Mother fuckin' narwals

You and wonchop certainly make a good team.
I noticed that even after several playbacks, there wasn't any of the de-synch I usually see with some of your older videos, so great job on that.

Damn Weebl, you have a lot of talent, and fantastic work for you, wonchop!

-GKG

[Girlchan in Paradise Ep1]

Pretty interesting. But its been done before.

Most people aren't getting the joke about the bad lip synch.
Which is a shame really.

Uh, it was a little drawn-out for my taste. But I was mildly entertained throughout. (I watch a lot of Japanese animation) so the plot twists were really kind of a cute reminder of how ridiculous some series can get.
Decent drawings to follow the pseudo anime style. But nothing that really stood out.

Oh well.

Good try, but I don't think your fanbase appreciated it as much as your game parodies.

-GKG

[Valentines Day!]

You're a little bitter, arent' you?

But please, for the love of God, you know that you can publish the audio with a different level of compression? This sounded like shit, and it was too loud.

Stop trying to make yourself sound better than everyone else by comparing yourself against anime nerds. It really makes you sound like a pratt, and no one wants to hang around someone who is high and mighty.

Animation was okay, but a bit slow, maybe use a higher framerate? It's pretty much all tweening anyway.

-GKG